Jesus didn’t favor Peter, James, and John because of their personalities or gift mix; He favored them because they favored Him. “‘For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him’” (2 Chronicles 16:9).
I just finished reading the book of John over the past month, on and off, persistently, but thank God for His kindness and mercy in allowing me to enter His presence again, even though most of the time I am inconsistent. Finishing this book left me amazed; I felt a little jealous of John, the one Jesus called “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Reading this book makes me long to know Jesus more intimately. John knows Him personally; he testifies to who Jesus is in a way that makes you feel like you’re sitting there with him—behind closed doors, where the noise of the world fades, and only Jesus’ presence remains.
I realized that before, I was reading the Bible for knowledge, not for intimacy. I wanted to know facts about Jesus, not to know Him. My prayers are changing now, they are prayers of drawing near: to know Jesus, to learn from the Spirit, the Counselor, and to abide in my Father just as Jesus did. I want His Word to pierce me, to reveal my sin, to make me confront myself in quiet spaces, and to let Him restore and refine me where no one else is watching.
Who Jesus Is
John’s Gospel feels like an invitation to step behind closed doors with Jesus. Different from Matthew, Mark, and Luke, which show what Jesus did and taught, John focuses on who Jesus is. Page after page, I feel myself slowing down, lingering in His presence, seeing that He was with God from the beginning, the source of life and light. The opening verses hit me as though I’m hearing them for the first time, and I read them again and again, savoring each word. " In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning"
Jesus is also the Lamb of God (John 1:36). He is patient, waiting for His Father’s timing and never rushing into “not yet” or “not now” moments. Yet He could not refuse His mother’s request, turning water into wine and being present at the wedding in Cana (John 2:1-11). Did He dance? Did He enjoy it? I like to think He did. This first miracle revealed His glory, and His disciples placed their faith in Him.
Jesus has emotions. He is fully man and fully God. He never compromised His calling to please others, even when it meant whipping out cords, turning over tables, speaking truth that offended, or confronting hypocrisy when necessary (John 2:13-17). He acted not out of emotion or impulse, but out of unwavering commitment to truth.
I love how Jesus took time to meet Nicodemus one-on-one, sharing the gospel in secret, in the nighttime (John 3:1-21). Perhaps Nicodemus came at night because he was timid, or perhaps he wanted an uninterrupted conversation with Jesus. Despite a fully packed schedule, Jesus gave him time and patiently explained everything to a confused teacher. Imagine someone revealing the truths we often quote from John 3:16 in such a personal, intimate way.
Then there is John, who testifies about Jesus while making himself small. When Jesus comes, He must become greater. When we follow Him, we must become less (John 3:30). John did not seek limelight. Remember the Samaritan woman at the well, to whom Jesus offers living water (John 4:7-42). She believed, testified, and many Samaritans came to faith through her witness.
Jesus’ miracles continued. He returned to Cana, where He first revealed His glory (John 2:1-11), and healed the son of a royal official in Capernaum, who begged Him to save his dying child (John 4:46-54). Then there was the healing at the Pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-15). I remember journaling about that man and crying when I watched the scene in The Chosen. Here is a man, courageous in his testimony, yet despised by men.
Jesus also challenges His disciples, like Philip, about feeding the five thousand. He asked, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” Philip replied, “Eight months’ wages would not buy enough for each one to have even a bite” (John 6:5-7). Jesus tests Philip gently, and yet miracles happen. Andrew brought a boy with five barley loaves and two small fish, and Jesus multiplied them into twelve full baskets (John 6:8-13).
Reading these stories, I feel like one of His disciples. I am awed, amazed, and at times confused. I see His power, witness His miracles, and feel a touch of fear when He walks on water (John 6:16-21).
And then there is waiting. Jesus understood it perfectly. He knew when the time had not yet come. I often get overwhelmed in waiting seasons, but Jesus knew the purpose behind every pause. As He told His brothers, who struggled to believe and were impatient, “The right time for me has not yet come. For you, any time is right” (John 7:6).
Jesus Is the Truth
Jesus also made it clear that those who do not love Him are aligned with the devil. He defines the devil as a murderer from the beginning, who does not hold to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).
This made me pause and reflect: whom am I listening to? Am I believing the lies of the devil instead of the truth that my Father tells me? Often, we are easily distracted by the standards of the world. As a young woman, I have struggled with seeing my worth through the lens of beauty, relationships, achievements, or the milestones of marriage and motherhood. These are noble pursuits and gifts from God, yet they can become idols that the devil uses to deceive us: “Oh, you’re not good enough; everyone else is in a relationship; maybe you’re not beautiful; maybe no one really likes you; you don’t have a child; you’ve been single or married too long.” These are lies meant to define our worth apart from God.
I was convinced that I need God’s Word every day so I won’t be swayed by these lies, especially in areas where I am most vulnerable. Living in truth and living in Jesus means truly knowing Him and knowing His Word, just like the blind man who declared, “I was blind, but now I see” (John 9:25).
And more than that, Jesus is always revealing the truth about who He is—the great “I Am” (John 8:58). He tells us, "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it to the full" (John 10:9-10). He also says, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep" (John 10:11), and "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die" (John 11:25-26).
This truth is made personal in His relationships. For instance, when Lazarus died, Jesus comforted Mary and Martha. Seeing their grief and the tears of the Jews with them, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. Jesus wept (John 11:33-35). He mourned with His friends, yet He had the power to raise Lazarus from the dead. Then He told them, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40).
Imagine being close to Jesus, just like Mary and Martha. They are two distinct women, yet both are consistently mentioned in the New Testament. Jesus often went to their home, and Bethany became a place of rest for Him. Martha loved to serve Jesus, while Mary loved to listen to Him, even pouring expensive perfume on His feet—the one who anointed Him. Perhaps they drew close because they earnestly sought Him, showing us that intimacy with Jesus comes from seeking Him wholeheartedly.
Truly, living in Jesus and knowing His Word protects us from the lies of the enemy and draws us closer to His truth, comfort, and life-giving presence.
Father, Glorify Your Name
"Father, save me; Father, glorify your name!" Jesus predicts His death: "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name" (John 12:27-28).
From “Father, save me” to “Father, glorify your name,” we see Jesus’ heart moving from seeking personal relief to surrendering fully to God’s purpose. He continues, "I have come into the world as light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world but to save it" (John 13:46-47).
Have you ever prayed that prayer, "Father, glorify your name"? This pierced my heart. Too often, my prayers are like, “Father, save me; Father, protect me; Father, I desire this; Father, take away the pain…” But Jesus’ words, “Father, glorify your name,” remind me that even in fear and trouble, His focus is God’s glory and the fulfillment of His mission. At that moment, His heart was troubled; He may have been afraid, yet He still called out in obedience and a voice from heaven came, reassuring Him that He was on the right path.
The following verses show Jesus washing His disciples’ feet and predicting Judas’ betrayal and Peter’s denial. Imagine knowing all that was about to happen and still choosing to serve, to wash their feet, to show love, and to comfort them. He knew His disciples, their weaknesses, their past mistakes, and what they might do and yet He chose to love them unconditionally, showing us what it means to remain steadfast in love, even when fully aware of human failure.
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
I feel like I am hearing these words in front of Him as one of His disciples, trying to keep my tears from welling up as I turn each page. But these words are a comfort to my soul: a healing balm, a gentle tap on my shoulder; reminding me to look forward to what is coming, that there He is in eternity, preparing a place for me. A place where life is not a battlefield, where the race is over. It is comfort, it is rest.
As He says in John 14:1-4, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
He is so sure that the disciples know the way and will be with Him, because He Himself prepares the way. And that is Jesus: He is the way. "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
As a Sunday School kid, this verse may have felt dusty and distant, but now it resonates so deeply. He is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Jesus. Because of Him, we can enter the room He has prepared for us. As 1 Corinthians 2:9 reminds us, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him."
Jesus continues to encourage us in John 14:12-14: "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."
Perhaps we have been too distant from the truth, too far from the light, hesitant to ask in Jesus’ name because we feel we are not worthy, not obedient enough, or our faith feels lukewarm. But Jesus reminds us that we can ask for greater things—redemption, restoration, healing, salvation for our loved ones. We can ask Him to rekindle hope in our hearts, in our homes, and in our land. He is near, as He promised, through the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to strengthen us, guide us, and walk with us all along.
Abide, Draw Closer, Draw Nearer
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other" (John 15:9-17).
Often, we measure fruitfulness by the works of our hands, not by the works of Jesus in our lives. Remaining in Him often becomes a last resort, only when problems arise. It is hard to remain in Jesus: to open our Bible, to pray in the quiet of our room, to know Him in stillness. So many preachers and voices today offer comfort without restoration, words without transformation. We scroll through verses on social media instead of opening our Bibles and discovering God personally. not someone’s interpretation, not a famous influencer, but God Himself.
Remaining in God takes time, intentionality, and stillness. And I admit, I often miss this. With a fully packed schedule, work demands, endless entertainment, and self-improvement hacks, I sometimes forget the simplest, most vital thing: drawing near to Jesus, talking to Him, listening to Him. And yet, when we do, something changes. His presence becomes addictive in the best way. Desires we cling to slowly fade, and He fills us with what truly satisfies.
Because the truth is, the world hates those who love Jesus. He says to His disciples, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world" (John 15:18-19). May we walk as Jesus did. We are not here to nibble at the table of the world for comfort or convenience. There is no safe or easy way to heaven. We must hold firmly to this truth: we do not belong to the world.
And yet, we are not powerless. The Holy Spirit works in us, guiding us in all truth. Jesus overcame the world, and through Him, so can we. Take heart, my dear friends. Remain. Abide. Draw closer. Draw nearer.
Jesus Prays
Jesus prays for Himself, Jesus prays for His disciples, and Jesus prays for all believers before He was arrested, before Peter’s denial, before the high priest questioned Him, before people shouted to crucify Him. He prayed so hard, preparing for what was coming, and yet He never feared what was ahead.
As I read these chapters, I see no fear in Him before Pilate, even though He was sentenced to be crucified. I remember when I first read the Gospel of Matthew about Jesus’ crucifixion—it broke my heart. I cried and mourned. Yeah, I was younger, but reading John’s account of the crucifixion amazed me, because by then I had been getting to know Him in the previous chapters. I saw that Jesus was obedient all along, and there’s good news after. It gave me so much assurance of the truth about Him.
And the last chapters, after His burial, His resurrection, are so intimate. He appears to Mary Magdalene, to the disciples, to Thomas the doubter, and to His disciples while they were catching fish. Imagine going back to the old life the disciples used to have before Jesus, and here He comes to their work, giving the strange suggestion: “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some” (John 21:6).
The disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it) and plunged into the sea. The other disciples came in the little boat, dragging the net full of fish (John 21:7-8). John recognized Him, of course.
And then they saw a fire with burning coals, with fish on it and some bread. What a glorious breakfast! Jesus is often seen eating with His disciples after His resurrection. This is intimate, friendly fellowship. They ate fish in the morning. Can you imagine their feelings? Peter remembering how he denied Jesus three times, Thomas doubting and looking for proof, the others ashamed and just wanting a normal life. But here’s Jesus, preparing breakfast, rekindling joy in their hearts, showing miracles again, reminding them He’s their friend. And He never keeps records of wrongs.
Then comes the heart-to-heart conversation with Peter. Jesus asks if Peter loves Him, calling His full name—like a teacher wanting so badly for her student’s attention, but in the most gentle and loving way. Jesus calls Peter to restore him. He asks thrice, perhaps so Peter remembers denying Him thrice: “Feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, and feed my sheep” (John 21:15-17).
And here comes John, following along. I can’t stop imagining this scene—it’s like a dramatic little play between Jesus and Peter as He reinstates him. Peter then asks, “What about him?” pointing at John, like a kid pointing at his best buddy. And Jesus answers, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22).
The ending of this book is so lighthearted and personal, like friends getting back together, finding courage to do life again, and being empowered to follow Jesus.
The conclusion to the Gospel of John:
“This is the disciple who testifies of these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. There are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen” (John 21:24-25).
John was that unnamed disciple referred to in several places. He gave solemn testimony to the truth of what he wrote. His testimony is true.
Quiet-Late-Nights
Oh, if I would just read the Word intimately, getting to know Jesus like John did, and writing about Jesus all along, testifying.
I was so busy, constantly wondering how to keep up with life as an adult—overthinking, worrying that I couldn’t afford certain things to fully give my parents a good retirement. Not even married yet, not even in a relationship, questioning if I could even be a wife someday. Not even earning the salary grade I thought I needed. It felt like life’s entire measure was in what we have in this world.
And then the Word of God comes in. Gently. Quietly. Reminding me of who Jesus is. Calling me patiently, like He called His disciples. Inviting me to spend time with Him, to get along with Him, to see Him as a friend—a friend and a lover, the one who provides all. Reminding me that I have a room in heaven, that I am not called to live as the world lives, but like the disciples, like the disciple whom Jesus loved. To earnestly seek Him. To want Him. To draw closer to Him even more.
I can’t imagine writing seven pages until two in the morning again. I miss this. I miss Jesus so much—the quiet talks, the tears, the peace that comes after reading His Word. Maybe that’s what He’s calling me back to—not busyness, not success, but just being with Him again.
Truly, this is a room prepared, a heart restored.
