“Women have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts. They’ve got ambition and they’ve got talent as well as just beauty. I am so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it! But—I am so lonely.” Jo March, Little Women
Ooops. I'm not trying to be a rebel feminist. Christian blogger, but feminist? Hahhaha. I love women, and I love the differences that God calls us to be.
To all the little women out there! Have you seen the 2019 adaptation of Little Women? I grew up watching the Tagalog cartoon version. I was just a little girl then, fascinated by the four sisters with such different personalities. Back then, I didn’t fully understand the story, but I loved the adventure. I admired Meg, the eldest; she always seemed to know what was right. Amy was loud, Beth was soft, and Jo? I didn’t like her much. She was too stubborn, too bold, and too much for my younger self to grasp.
Then one day, I received a book from the Samaritan’s Purse Christmas Shoebox. It was Kate’s Choice by Louisa May Alcott. I had no idea how deeply that book would stir something in me. That moment planted a quiet dream in my heart: maybe I could be a writer too.
As I grew up, like many of us, I was shaped by Disney princesses, Filipino love teams, rom-coms, and K-dramas. I believed in Prince Charming. I imagined that one day, like Rapunzel in her tower, someone would find me and give me my happily-ever-after.
But as I got older and revisited Little Women, I began to see it through new eyes. It wasn’t just about sisterhood or coming of age, it was a quiet revolution. Through feminist literary criticism, Jo March becomes more than just a character. She is a voice for women who want something different.
Meg chose marriage and motherhood—and that’s a beautiful calling. She tells Jo, “Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn’t mean they’re unimportant.” That line still gives me pause. Choosing family is sacred. Desiring it is not wrong.
But what if our dreams are simply… different?
Because here’s the thing—we still live in a culture where marriage feels like the ultimate achievement for a woman. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been asked: “Are you married?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Don’t wait too long!” “Find someone before it’s too late!”
Even in Christian circles, the pressure lingers. Yes, God designed the family. Yes, it’s a good and holy thing. But is it the only thing? Is it the only road to sanctification?
Sometimes, it feels like people use “God’s will” as a kind of code. As if they’re really saying, “God wants you to be married so you can finally fulfill your purpose.” Or, “Maybe you’re resisting because of some hidden sin.”
And then there are the painful remarks we’ve all heard or felt:
“Maybe you’re still single because you’re not ready yet.”
“Maybe there’s something wrong with you. Hmmm, you’re not that attractive.”
“Why don’t you just marry that nice guy in the church and figure it out later?”
Sorry if I sound a bit like an activist here, but this is one thing I struggle with in Christian communities. As if doing “good things” for God means you’ll be rewarded with a good man—and if not, then the bad one will be your cross to bear. Which I believed by the way back then.
Sound familiar?
Again—I am not against marriage. I admire my mom for her hard work, sacrifice, and perseverance in marriage. I admire women who pursue that calling.
But what about the Jo Marches of the world? The writers, the dreamers, the builders, the single women who love deeply but live differently? What if we don’t marry early—or ever? What if our path is a little offbeat? Does that make us less valuable? Less womanly? Less blessed?
I don’t think so.
We are still nurturers. We are still helpers. We are still kingdom builders. And even outside of marriage, God can use every part of us—our gifts, our voices, our compassion—for His glory. There is no part of us that goes to waste.
And still… Jo’s words haunt me: “But—I am so lonely.”
That part? It’s real. Loneliness creeps in. We scroll past engagement announcements, weddings, baby dedications, and sometimes it stings. (I want it too moments in the middle of the night). We long to love and to be loved. And sometimes we feel ashamed of that longing, like it makes us weak or needy.
Let’s be honest: temptations lurk. We become vulnerable to infatuation. We crave connection. Sometimes, we entertain relationships not born out of purpose, but out of pressure, lust, or emotional starvation. We may even fool ourselves into calling it love because it gives us comfort, even if only for a moment.
I’m not against marriage. I desire it too. I want a love that’s not born from panic, pressure, or temptation—but from purpose and peace. I want to love and be loved not because it’s expected, but because it’s right, real, and God-given.
Let’s turn to one of my favorite authors. In her book Let Me Be a Woman, Elisabeth Elliot writes about the gift of singleness:
“Having now spent more than forty-one years single, I have learned that it is indeed a gift. Not one I would choose. Not one many women would choose. But we do not choose our gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of Himself.”
She later adds:
“It is within the sphere of circumstances He chooses for us—single, married, widowed—that we receive Him. It is there and nowhere else that He makes Himself known to us. It is there we are allowed to serve Him.”
I remember writing in my journal once, “Master’s before Mister.” I thought I’d get married after grad school. That was my plan. I even called it my Mrs. Degree. But I started to feel pressure—to hit that goal, to prove something, to finally find the one. I sunk into a kind of quiet loneliness trying to chase love. And now I look back at my younger self and laugh. Cringe, even. Thank God for the gift of hindsight and for the wisdom He gives as we grow.
So if you’re reading this and feeling like you’re falling behind, please hear this: Your worth is not defined by a ring on your finger, a baby in your arms, or a title on your nameplate.
And here’s the beautiful difference for us as believers:
Our worth is found in Christ.
He sees us. He knows us. He loves us.
Even in our loneliness, we can still have joy. Even when the world tries to label us by timelines and milestones, we can rest in the truth that we are not missing out because we are walking in the story God is writing for us.
So don’t rush into love just because you think you’re running out of time.
Don’t let the pressure make you miss your calling in this season.
To my beautiful sisters out there! Keep walking, keep running, and keep leaning on God’s promises. You will not miss what is meant for you. And you are not late. You are right where He has you.
And to the future love that we long for, yes, we can pray and hope for him.
But rest assured: our present love—Jesus— sees every ache and fulfills every desire we try to hide. He is not just enough, He is everything.
The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.—Elisabeth Elliot
